2 months on an moving!

So it's been 2 months since mum passed away, we had a little pray session for her on wednesday night. The thing is you know the ach in the heart suppose to get better, you suppose to come to terms with it more, but somehow that is not the case. As time goes by it seems to be hurting more and more. As time goes by i seem to be missing mum more and more. The memories seem to be hunting me alot more these days then the month before. Especially, the time she was in hospital, more so when she was back in the normal ward for the last 4 days, maybe as i said in my last post was that i felt so hopeless that i could not do anything but see mum in the state she was in that is hunting me, or feeding her small amounts of orange juice with a swab as she can't swallow yet but she wanted some taste in her mouth. She loved food so much. All that time she keep asking us she wanted to eat. Or the times she would be groaning in pain from all the sores all over her body. These memories keep coming back to me. Hunting me. It's so hard to shut them out at times. I wonder how dad does it. I'm sure he's feeling as much pain as i am. So wish you still around mum. I guess it's mum positive out look in life that is keep me afloat most of the time now. She's always thinking of the better side of anything that is wrong and that has rub on to me. Somewhere someone in this world is suffering more then me, less fortunate then i am or going through more pain then i am. There is so much more to life, it's so short so just live it to your fullest. Mum did live her life to the fullest , so much so that i guess she did not have time to enjoy life in her age to come. 

Okie on with life, so it's 6 weeks to sundown marathon i know i have not trained enough for it but what the hack. Plan is to run 30km in 3 hrs an walk the last 12 in less then 2 hrs. So all in all i still finish the marathon in less then 5 hrs. That's the plan but if it works is another thing altogether. IMWA is 8 months away. Training is getting on fine. Swim is getting better, run is not to bad since i run more now i just need to bike more thats all. Other then that nothing much to shout about besides the rain that likes to spoil my training days. till next time folks ...........